Finding Happiness after Divorce

Although divorce can be an emotionally draining time in your life, it does not mean that finding happiness after divorce is impossible. Divorce is difficult, but it is an end to an old chapter and the start of something new and wonderful- if you let it be! It’s a new beginning where you have control to build the life you want to have. It’s a time of freedom and exploring new things and finding the happiness you deserve. You may not see how you can accomplish this while you are in the midst of your divorce, so stick with me while I take you through the 8 steps to finding happiness after your divorce.

1. During the divorce process, it is imperative that you build a business plan for divorce. Divorce is a difficult business and legal process which requires planning, having a strategy, resources, an understanding of your state’s legal system b and the ability to negotiate. Having a well thought out business plan for divorce can make the difference in the quality of life you will have when the divorce has been finalized. Its very outcome will largely be determined by your ability to remain calm and make rational business decisions throughout the entire divorce process.

2. After your divorce, your happiness is now entirely up to you. Some people never leave a bad marriage and never go on to find true happiness again. To these people, making the decision to end their unhappy marriage is far more frightening of a prospect than leaving and starting anew. Take your time to understand the changes that are happening in your life. Obtaining a complete understanding of your situation will help guide you to find the happiness you deserve.

3. Don’t get caught up in feeling sorry for yourself or playing the blame game. This will prevent you from thinking clearly and moving forward. Sit quietly with a blank sheet of paper and list your current situation and then list possible options to each problem. You don’t need to find the perfect solution all at once. Take it step by step. Just try to see clearly what your next step ought to be. Begin to make one goal a week, write down what needs to be done to get that goal accomplished and do it. You will begin to see your life gradually improving and you will gain more self-confidence in yourself.

4. Divorce is a re-discovery process. You may have given up a lot of your own identity during your marriage and now is the time to re-brand yourself and start living your life on your terms. Take inventory of your unique skills, attributes, abilities, expertise and experience. Know what you are about and understand that you will change as you transition from being a married person to a single person. Start crafting your brand identity now and refine it as you go through the process. Indulge in the things that make you happy.

5. If you felt rejected by your ex-spouse, let it go now! The rejection you feel does not change who you are and the value you have. That was a choice your ex-spouse made- That’s it! They cannot determine your worth, you are a person deserving of living a happy and fulfilling life after divorce.

6. Divorce is filled with so many feelings. There is grief and as we grieve, we often experience feelings of shock and denial, pain, guilt, anger, loneliness and depression. Don’t lower yourself to trying to get even with your spouse. Now is the time to let family, friends or a counselor help you move forward. There is incredible happiness in the future for those who are willing to make the journey. And the bonus – once you grieve, it clears the way for acceptance, joy and happiness.

7. You may likely go through employment and financial difficulties. You knew that life would change after your divorce. Know your financial situation as it relates to debt, credit cards and income. Don’t assume that alimony and / or child support will be awarded to you. You must have a plan of how you will support yourself independently. Having a sound and well thought out financial plan can be the single most important factor for your new life as a single. Create a budget of your monthly expenses and income. If you are re-entering the job market, make sure that you have a solid and updated resume that showcases your skills, education and experience.

8. Be open to meeting new people and explore the many opportunities for returning to dating again. When the time is right, love will find you again. For both men and women who are returning to dating after a divorce, the prospect of putting yourself out there again can be daunting, but it can also be one of the most rewarding and exhilarating experiences you can have. Imagine what it would feel like to be in a relationship and feel excited about seeing that person every day? What would it be like to look forward to spending a romantic weekend? Planning a vacation together? Having true intimacy again?

Don’t let fear stand in your way or focus on what is intimidating about getting back out on the dating market. However bad it may seem right now, it does get better and you will find happiness after divorce. This is an opportunity for you to find true happiness in your life. The happiness you so richly deserve.